Monday, January 11, 2010

Bladerunner: Based on the novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" by Philip K. Dick

Ok, so this is how the title would read of that super-cool film if we followed the model of Precious: Based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire. Is this publishing-biz hubris or savvy marketing for the writer Sapphire?

I picture a gleaming faux-gem, some sort of replicant for Deckard to wear on his little finger while he decides whether to sleep with Sean Young. Now that's cross-platform marketing. Real synergy.

Yes, yes, I know the Sapphire (real name Ramona Lofton) comes from the slam poet world and she could picture the name Sapphire on a book cover more easily than Ramona Lofton--which does seem a bit less faceted (groan...). And yes, there was another 2009 film called Push, and so the name was changed to Precious to avoid confusion (which does not really explain the other stuff..)

So, no, I'm not picking on her nom de guerre.

Rather, it's pure marketing genius to get the novel's original name on the film title and the name of the author. Wouldn't you like to see, for instance...?

Iron Man 2: based on the novel my Facebook friend Alex Irvine wrote based on the script of the movie.


The Shining (1987), a crappy miniseries based on the book by Stephen King because he thought Jack Nicholson telegraphed his madness to the audience and that Stanley Kubrick really played loose with the supernatural elements of the story because everybody should f***ing know by now that this is Stephen King, baby, and the supernatural should be as ambiguous as a turd.

Maybe the film industry could just add in books it might be better to read when compared against a particular movie-going experience:

Jennifer's Body, based on a script by Entertainment Weekly contributor (alternating weeks: Stephen King) by Diablo Cody, all about the metaphor of female empowerment and demonic sexuality and well, hey, just read Kathy Acker and call the whole thing off already. Do you think we can get Megan Fox to star at Thivai in the adaptation of Empire of the Senseless?

Anyway, let me know how to get in on this thing for the inevitable movie adaption of Drain. It's a natural: Lake Michigan empties of water (good ecological disaster); worm-worshiping end-of-times cult moves in (cure ultra-violent William Hurt in patriarch role); ineffective corporate protagonist Washington Jefferson Lincoln Qui (I'm thinking Crispin Glover, Tom Cruise, or a reanimated and air-brushed Walter C. Scott) gets taken in...

Yes, I'm ready to make a deal. Let's hear it for:

Drain, based on the novel "Drain" by Davis Schneiderman

No wait, I want to sell tickets:

Drain, based on the novel "Pet Sematery" by Stephen King.

Much better. Let's do lunch.

No comments: